Great Gob, Directions, and Jell-O

Dear Goblin, is God so powerful that he can create a boulder too heavy for him to lift? -Cgwatson from Wisconsin Cgwatson- I admit I was puzzled by such a question. At first, I worried that even my slick, triple-lobed goblin mind would not be able to answer it, and I...

Loaded Diapers and Negative Nurdles

Dear Goblin, How does one deal with stinky diapers?  I literally throw up most times when I try to change a “loaded” diaper. Tips and tricks would be appreciated! -SurferPaul from Hawaii SurferPaul- Before I answer your question, which will be quite a...

Monsters in The House, Yo.

Dear Goblin, I have a little monster living within my house with the ability to split in two and we have agreed to let it live with us until we find its proper parents. Every night, this little monster cries for a drink of shog juice and stories of Thumperlicks and...

Bathroom Scales and Homework

Dear Goblin, I have a bathroom scale that I think doesn’t like me. No overt violence so I don’t think it’s evil; just a temperament difference I guess. Since you ingest toys, I thought maybe you’d like my scale, or maybe Feed the Goblins or a...

Toys and Turtlenecks

Dear Goblin, My kid’s driving me nuts! He doesn’t seem to be capable of remembering to put away his toys after he plays with them. I find myself constantly stepping on one of his little racecars, barefoot, while walking to the bathroom in the middle of the...

DEAR GOBLIN

Need advice from a Goblin? Look no further. (Really, don’t. Goblins can sense when your attention is slipping away elsewhere, and they don’t like it.) Dear Goblin is exactly the advice guru you need when you’re search for questionable, yet...